Wearing Armor to Bed
by avalonian-priestess
Summary: Newly fallen Castiel has trouble sleeping. Dean tries to help.  Drabble-ish .


The fallen angel was sleep deprived. He had been tripping over his own feet and then dozing off into his salad at dinner. Now he was sleeping soundly on the bed Dean would have taken if Castiel hadn't been slurring his speech and talking nonsense. Dean knew that sleep was foreign to the newly fallen angel. Castiel had voiced his apprehension for sleep before he had even fallen, citing how much of existence humans miss out on while in slumber. Now he was loathe succumbing to humanity's biggest pause button. He had literally pouted as Dean fluffed the pillows and pulled back the covers.

"Get in, Cas, and stop your whining," he had said.

"Sleep… weak… angels… sometimes… did you know… bats upside down," Castiel had mumbled incoherently as he climbed into the bed, his hands and knees on the mattress. Behind him, Dean had pulled off Cas's shoes knowing that the angel wouldn't think of it.

Cas had flopped down on the bed on his side, still curled up like he was crawling sideways, but relaxed. His eyes had shut instantly and Dean pulled the covers over the sleeping fallen angel. He had turned to Sam and gave him a look that said "This will be interesting" and Sam could only shrug in commiseration.

Now Dean was watching Cas sleep. Yeah, it might have been creepy, but consider it retaliation for every time Cas did it to him. Really, Dean was watching the expressions flicker over Cas's face as he dreamt. He looked to Sam, who was already asleep as well. His sleeping expression was a vague crinkle of his brow and tightening of his jaw. When Sam was having a nightmare, he ground his teeth in his sleep. Tonight was no different. Cas didn't grind his teeth but he made little gasps and protests every once in a while. Dean watched as Castiel's dreams went from pleasant to horrifying. He watched Cas's expression change from relaxed to horror stricken and painful.

Cas cried out "No!" in his sleep and woke Sam up.

Dean was standing hesitantly at the edge of Cas's bed, his hands fluttering as if he was not sure if he should shake Cas awake or not.

"What's going on?" Sam asked in a whisper, looking at the unslept in side of the bed where Dean would have been. "Was that Cas?"

"Yeah, I think he's having a nightmare," Dean whispered back, looking at Sam.

Dean was worried for Castiel. His first time sleeping as a newly fallen angel without Jimmy's soul within the vessel and he was already having nightmares. Dean figured Cas had seen enough horrors and suffering in his long angelic existence to give anyone a lifetime of night terrors, but seeing it happen so soon made Dean upset. Cas didn't need to experience the hardships of human existence before the pleasures. Yesterday, he'd gotten a rather nasty paper cut before he'd ever kissed anyone. Dean felt like Cas had to see all of the good things in life before he saw any bad. They weren't off to a very good start.

Sam must have seen the concern and fear in Dean's eyes because he calmly, without saying anything, got out of bed and dressed. Sam grabbed his coat and the keys to the Impala before nodding to Dean and leaving the motel room. The door clicked softly closed behind him just as Cas let out another sharp yell. There was something about the way Sam left them that comforted Dean. It was something like acceptance of the fact that Dean was the closest person to Cas. And Cas needed Dean's help. Sam leaving them for the night and not saying anything spoke worlds to Dean. Sam was okay with Castiel becoming a permanent fixture in their lives. Sam was saying that he knew that Cas was not taking a place above Sam in Dean's life. Castiel was seeping his way into Dean's life through cracks in his armor through which blood could not fit.

Dean now had no hesitation in waking Castiel. He leaned over and placed a gentle hand on Cas's shoulder. "Cas. Cas, wake up. It's only a dream," he said just above a whisper. Cas flinched in his sleep but didn't wake. Dean tried again louder "Hey, Cas! Wake up!"

Castiel jumped awake so hard that his body bounced on the bed. A strangled gasp and cry died on his tongue as he sat up, looking at Dean. The intense fear and sadness Dean saw there was a huge change from what Castiel expressed during the day. Maybe it was just the shadows that the yellowy desk lamp light was casting across his face, but Castiel looked haunted.

"Are you okay?" Dean asked, his hand still on Cas's shoulder. He was shaking with fear under Dean's hand. His teeth were practically chattering together as he shook.

"No, Dean," Castiel's voice was choked. He looked up at Dean desperately. His face was covered with cold sweat.

"It was just a dream, Cas," Dean said and sat on the edge of Cas's bed next to him.

"A dream?" Cas asked unbelievably.

"Yeah. Or probably a nightmare," Dean said.

Castiel gathered the blankets around him carefully. He shook his head and looked away from Dean. "Why?"

"Because sometimes we see things, or think things, that bother us. And our brains try to work through it during sleep," Dean explained awkwardly. He picked at the seam on the hotel quilt.

"I am never sleeping again," Castiel said. His voice was filled with a determined naivety that reminded Dean of a small child.

"Humans need to sleep, Cas," Dean said, knowing full well that Cas didn't want to hear it but needed to hear it anyways.

Cas hung his head and two fat tears fell audibly against the starched cotton of the white hotel sheets. Fear raced through Dean now. What was he supposed to do with a crying angel?

"My mind is torturing me," Cas said. His voice was hoarse and devastated. "Why would my own mind show me such horrible things? It's not right, Dean. There must be something wrong with me!"

Dean felt pricks behind his eyes. No. He was not going to cry simply at the sight of Cas crying. No. Cas's fear and desperation were not reasons for him to cry. He had to tell Cas to suck it up and go back to bed.

"Cas," Dean whispered because he was afraid of his own words. "Nightmares happen. I have nightmares, Sam has nightmares, that chick at the front desk has nightmares, everyone has nightmares. But sometimes, we have really good dreams, too. You'll see. Not every night will be scary."

"There's no way that this is normal, Dean. Why would I make myself fearful? I don't like this at all. I want to be an angel again," Cas said, tears steadily falling onto his sheet clad lap.

"I know," Dean said. He slid his hand closer to Cas over the sheets. He wanted to reach out to Cas, but didn't know how. He wanted to comfort Cas, but didn't know how.

"What happens if I have more bad dreams?" Cas asked, still looking down. He sniffed.

Dean was silent for a few moments. He knew what the first thing that sprung to his mind was. He knew what he had instinctively wanted to say. But he couldn't say it. It wouldn't be right. Then with a change of heart he realized he never did anything the Right Way, so why start now? He took a breath.

"I'll be here. Just wake me up and tell me about them," Dean said. He sounded confident and so completely sure of his own words. While inside he was panicking. He shouldn't have said that. He changed his mind back. Why did he say that?

Cas looked up at Dean. His blue eyes were wide and red rimmed from tears. His face was wet and he licked tears off of his lips. Dean didn't look away from his eyes. He wasn't going to back down. He said it and he was going to have to own it.

"Were you just saying that to make me feel better?" Cas asked.

Dean couldn't help a small smile from quirking his lips. "No, Cas. I mean it. Sam wakes me up all the time with his crazy ass dreams. It would only be fair if I let you do it, too."

"Thank you, Dean. You may wake me up with your dreams as well. Though, not when I am very tired because I might try to smite you even though I no longer have my grace. Waking up seems hard to do," Cas said casually though his eyes were grateful and kind.

"Sure thing, Cas," Dean said with a full smile now.

"I feel as though having you near for the rest of our sleep would make me feel better. Would you like to move your pillow to this bed?" Castiel asked innocently.

Dean cleared his throat and looked at his pillow on the bed he was supposed to share with Sam.

"Y- yeah. No problem," Dean said and stood up to get his pillow. The only sound in the room was the rustling of sheets as Cas moved over to leave room for Dean.

Dean carefully slid into the bed next to Cas. His jeans tugged tight against his legs and he was uncomfortable with them on under the weight of the blankets and the shared body heat, but he didn't move to take them off. They shifted about in the bed until they were comfortably settled next to each other, their shoulders touching in the double bed. Dean heaved a sigh and looked over at Cas.

"Want me to turn off that light?" Dean asked, gesturing to the desk lamp.

"No, I don't want the room too dark," Cas said.

Dean had to smile at the thought that an angel needed a nightlight. But he didn't mind; he could sleep with the sun shining on his face and Sam singing in the drivers' seat of the Impala. A nightlight was nothing.

"Good night, Cas," Dean said.

"Yes, good night, Dean," he replied.

Dean listened to Cas shifting around in the bed, bumping various body parts against Dean as he wiggled about. It was ten minutes into this before Dean decided he was allowed to be annoyed.

"What is your issue, Feathers?" Dean asked.

"I can't seem to get comfortable. Everything feels wrong," Cas said agitatedly.

"It's the bed. It's horrible," Dean said. He was used to it though. A lifetime of lumpy mattresses prepared him.

"We must stay somewhere with a better bed next time," Cas said and finally flopping onto his stomach with his head turned towards Dean. He tucked his arms under his pillow and rested his head on the pillow. He relaxed for a few moments then lifted his head up and flipped the pillow over to the cool side. A surge of inexplicable pride filled Dean. It was the first time Cas tried to sleep as a human, and he already knew that the cool side of the pillow was the closest thing to Heaven on Earth.

"I'll keep that I mind, Cas," Dean said with a smile. He was actually very okay with Cas being high-maintenance.


End file.
